Assertive Communication

Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself and your rights without violating the rights of others. It is appropriately direct, open, and honest communication, which is self-enhancing and expressive. Acting assertively will allow you to feel confident and gain the respect of your peers and friends. It can help in better relationships and make you feel better about yourself. This, in turn, will improve your decision-making ability and possibly your chances of getting what you want from life. Assertiveness is one of the critical skills required for leadership development. It is good to understand whether your style of communication is assertive aggressive or passive.

Respect Others Vs Respect Self

Assertiveness is all about how much you respect others and yourself in all transactions.



The following questions will help you to assess whether you are assertive aggressive or passive.  Please answer the questions by clicking on the options that best describes you.  Be honest as possible.  Your first thought is possibly the most accurate.

1.Can you say no to an unreasonable request without feeling guilty?
2.When you disagree with a course of action or decision do you keep quiet?
3.When you are angry or upset with someone do you avoid them?
4.Do you try and protect people by not telling them the truth if you think you will hurt them?
5.Are you openly critical of others ideas, opinions or behavior?
6.Do you feel comfortable admitting you ‘don’t know’?
7.Do you use rudeness and/ or sarcasm as means of dealing with people who have failed to meet your expectations?
8.If you are disturbed by someone’s behavior/ actions do you tell them?
9.When you feel something is important, do you interrupt a conversation?
10.Do you find it difficult to maintain eye contact when talking to another person?
11.Are you afraid to show your weaknesses?
12.Do you have confidence in your judgement?
13.Do you ask for help when you need it?
14.When someone does something that upsets/ annoys you do you tell them directly?
15.Do you point out when an unfair action has occurred?
16.Do you have difficulty in finding things to compliment or praise others about?
17.Do you feel uncomfortable when you are not in control of a situation?
18.Do you manipulate people to achieve the results you want?
19.Do you keep your views to yourself when there are more “expert” people in the meeting?
20.Do you express what you feel?
21.Do you disagree with a person you respect, do you share your point of view with them?
22.Do you get upset/ angry when someone is angry with you?
23.Do you point out the consequence of a particular course of action?
24.Do you start conversations with people (face to face or telephone) without checking whether it is convenient?
25.When you receive poor service do you complain to the person and ask them to correct the situation?
26.Do you find ways of getting back at people who have angered/ annoyed you?
27.Are you disturbed by someone watching you at work?
28.Do you make sure that you always have the last word in a discussion?
29.Do you get embarrassed when someone compliments your work?
30.Do you get defensive when someone appears to be criticizing your work/behaviour appearance?
31.Do you try to respond in a way you think others want you to?
32.If a person is late with a piece of work, do you mention it?
33.Do you bottle up anger/ frustration with a person and then vent it on someone/ something else?
34.Do you tend to discount the views of lower grade staff when reaching a decision?
35.Do you tend to go along with things, for a quite life?
36.Do you wait to be asked to take part in tasks where you know you have a valuable contribution to make?


Baradeswaran A · October 16, 2021 at 11:31 am

Learning how to become assertive at work is crucial to anyone’ and also it helps to earn the respect of our peers. Really it will, help us to move forward in our career. Sir, its very nicely explained. Thank you sir

Sanjay Eswar · November 20, 2021 at 6:43 pm

Good to realise what am I

Saranya .p · November 20, 2021 at 6:47 pm

Lead a life with peace and grace
Everything belongs to god so surrender urself infront of him

A.logalakshmi · November 20, 2021 at 7:04 pm

It is useful to understood myself

Sabitha.S · November 20, 2021 at 7:04 pm

It is useful to understood myself

R.Priyanka · November 20, 2021 at 7:08 pm

Useful to understood myself

M.Jenifer · November 20, 2021 at 7:13 pm

It is useful to give honest answer about myself

Avijit Naha · March 9, 2022 at 10:48 am

Useful to understood myself


Mukesh Shaw · March 9, 2022 at 10:49 am


mukesh · March 9, 2022 at 11:07 am

Useful and knowledgeable to behave self and others

waseem quadri · March 9, 2022 at 2:11 pm

its eyeopener for all those you say yes bcz passive approach and facing consequences of it and realizing our personality to develop in positive way and not being used everytime and reducing mental burden.

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